I am currently sitting on the top of a mountain in France. It is a quiet, peaceful, beautiful place. The snow has been falling for 2 days and covers everything, even the view of the mountains. I am here with some good friends and we are spending the week skiing and snowboarding. Except I am sitting in our chalet drinking tea (and writing this post)! Why? Well, I wonder that myself.
For a long time I have had the desire and motivation to do anything and everything! Snowboard, rock climb, surf, play soccer, play ice hockey, travel the world! And I have done those things and many more and it has all been amazing! Well, most of it…learning to snowboard was quite painful and I was terrible at ice hockey. But when I look back, I am glad for the many opportunities that I have had for adventure.
But now, this is where I am at. I have done some snowboarding in the past few days and it was great. And now I feel like sitting here and drinking some tea is what I want to do. I don’t need to feel like I have to push myself and feel the pressure to go, go, go. I want to take a break and that’s good. I love that I can let it go. For so long, I wanted to do and felt I should do so much but now I can let go of the pressure.
When I say pressure I mean what I put on myself. The pressure to keep doing and keep achieving more, instead of being at peace in where I am. The pressure to resolve everything and figure it all out. The pressure to keep up with everyone else. It is quite draining to live life with all this pressure. I know God does not want that to be how I am living life. He wants peace and gratefulness in my life. And so that is what I am trying to do.
After this wonderful holiday here in France and then in Scotland, my husband and I will return home. When we return, I will not have a job. I will have nothing to do (except clean the house and walk the dog). This is one of the most wonderful things. I love looking forward to a new year ago this way and I am so ready for the break.
But it is a bit scary and I can feel the pressure sometimes. If I don’t have a job how will I achieve anything? At the very least having a job allows one to have the achievement of a pay cheque! What will I do? How can I feel like I am contributing?
But now I know that I don’t need to do anything. Just living and enjoying life is achievement enough. In that, there are friends and strangers, there is my wonderful husband, and my family and in all of these relationships there are things to enjoy and “achieve”, by loving and caring for them. In our world that is going at high speed, I am going to slow down and have a coffee and go for a walk. Along the way, people old and young stop to see the dog. The Hungarian people smile and enjoy Hamish. It is great how he is so popular and how much people love him. If this is all I do in one day, then that is enough.